Big Magic- My Attempt to Make my Life Artful

One of the things I love to say is that I always try to find the big magic in everyday moments. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true- who says we can’t make our lives beautiful?? Here and now. Yes, of course one day I want to take 6 months off and travel through the globe with the love of my life and yes, of course I want that house with that backyard full of flowers and tomatoes and a pergola covered in vines; however, there’s beauty to be found right now- even if we have to make it ourselves.

One thing I’ve found great great joy in lately is having small, ~pretty~ things around the house. Cheap candle sticks, ninety nine cent glass vases from the thrift store filled with flowers if I can find them, or even just empty sitting on the shelf. Old glass plates. Painting my used glass salad dressing bottles and sticking little buds of foraged flowers in them. A single flower sat in a martini glass. Sage green bed sheets. Who made the rule that grandma’s wedding china can’t be mixed and matched and used for a Tuesday night dinner? In my opinion, grandma would want me to cherish it by using it, even for my mediocre roasted sweet potatoes and salmon.

Another thing- looking up. And sometimes down. A lot. Here in Hilo the sky is always changing and doing something interesting. My favorite time of day lately has been around 6pm, because of the long days in the summer solstice. The tinges of orange and purple and blue, and some nights, afternoons even seem a little green if that makes sense. #justphotographerthings

Taking photos of small things I love. The light streaming into a room through the crinkled Target curtains. A stray cat resting with his head on a leaf. When the sun sparkles on the water so brightly I feel it could blind me (tbh it probably could lol just an example). When I wake up and the sky is blue but I can still see the moon. They probably won’t solicit many likes on Instagram, but they make me happy.

Also, having some favorite garments of clothing- and wearing them often. Even when I’m just at home. I have a favorite t shirt and shorts combination that just makes me feel fun, cute and comfy no matter what I’m up to. I also have a few dresses that are fun to just float around the house in lol.

Crafting a life you love is an art. It’s complex and subjective and looks different for everyone. I still have goals and am working hard to get there, but I’ve decided to fill the journey with art and “little happies” as I’ve heard them called- and I acknowledge that this statement can be somewhat steeped in privilege. I just wanted to share this with my little corner of the internet in hopes that it can encourage you to fill your life with art too, whatever that means to you.

On My Love Affair with Art

Up until a few years ago, I’d never really thought of myself as an artistic person. I was decent at sketching as a kid and up until about the 6th grade, I had dreamed of becoming a singer- but I never really honed into my artistic and creative abilities until I was about 20.

My love affair with the English language sparked at a very young age. Growing up, my mom would read me a story every night before bed. By the time I was 3, I had memorized my favorite books by the page and would pretend that I was reading them myself. As I got older my parents used to take me down to the public library every week and let me pick out books to borrow; I’m talking a stack of around 10 picture books. (I think 10 was the library’s limit) I don’t remember how, but I was placed in our elementary school’s small GT (“gifted and talented”, see also “advanced”) English class where we read books like “Because of Winn Dixie” and “Bridge to Terabithia” and wrote stories on the boxy macintosh computers. I had my very own floppy disk with all of my work and was told by the teacher that my writing had “voice.” When I got to middle school, I didn’t write as much. My stories turned into essays cited in MLA format, and writing just didn’t seem romantic or enjoyable to me anymore. This continued throughout high school, and my leisurely reading consisted only of Nicholas Sparks and the occasional book from the “Divergent” series.

I’m actually not even sure when it was that I realized I had an artistic eye. I think perhaps it came about when I started shooting with film. I was so stingy with my exposures and always looked for the absolute best  shot. I began looking for the beauty in everything. 

My love affair with photography began when I was 16. I was mentored by the amazing Tracey Lyn, and I was obsessed with capturing the world in the exact way that I saw it- vibrant and bright. It was a fun hobby, but very expensive and I never thought that it could ever become an avenue for success for me.

I think that that is the thing about art and the people that create it. It’s such a deeply  personal thing. As an “artist” (by the way, I use that term verrryyyy loosely) what I’m basically doing is trying to bring everything on that’s on the inside to the outside and share it with others. The way I see the world, the way I express what’s in my *ahem* soul. I’ve been given this passion for a reason and I now realize that it is such an injustice to suppress it. I express these through the avenues of fashion, photography, visual art and just plain words. 

If you’ve known me for a while, you’ve probably seen me write about my ugly duckling years. I was a quite awkward and quite ugly child in my pre pubescent and pubescent years. I always felt like I didn’t have much to “offer”. I wasn’t visually traditionally beautiful, which seemed like the only thing that mattered at that time. This was when I knew that I needed to create room in my soul for beauty. I wasn’t outwardly “pretty”, but I was smart, and I was humorous, and I was artistic. Of course, I now know that this way of thinking isn’t healthy or accurate at ALL- feeling less than and like I needed to “make up for” what I was “lacking.” I know that I’ve been created this way on purpose.  My God crafted me carefully, and so intentionally, and although I felt like I was simply making up for something I didn’t have, I now know that He was whispering to me the entire time, showing me who I am, and reminding me that I didn’t lack anything in the first place. 

The thing is, it was always in me, and I feel it now more than ever. Each day brings new inspiration and I’m excited and eager to see what I can create, whether it be with a camera, with other people, or with words. With everything I create, I somehow hope to inspire, encourage and remind people of just how much they’re loved.